I HAVE A VAGINA!!!

On Friday morning, I was extremely delirious from lack of sleep. Thanks to a friend, I was reminded that I have not read Cake Wrecks in a very long time. So off I went. The most recent post was "8 Cakes For Completely Inappropriate Occasions". The last and my most favorite cake read "I have a vagina!"

So naturally I texted my husband screaming "I have a vagina.. buy me a cake!"

What did he come home with? That's right, a very chocolaty cake. He woke me up with it.. I saw it and yelled "Is this my vagina cake?!?!!!?" He laughed and said yes. I told him it would  haven been even more awesome if he had them write vagina cake on it. We were laughing hysterically.. then in walks my 16 yr old. I told him "Here take my vagina cake and put it away please"

You can imagine the horror on his face. It was awesome. This has been the entertainment for our entire weekend. Then I showed him the unicorn pooping cupcakes. I think I have single handedly ruined my child. He will never be the same lol.

Randomness

I am laying here in my bed... well, not really laying down but more like half sitting up so I can type this. I am bored and sleep deprived but for whatever reason, I can't sleep. I'm not even really sure what this post is about because I am just typing whatever happens to float into my brain. Much like the very random text I sent my husband about unicorns pooping cupcakes. CUPCAKES!


For the next couple weeks I will be training a new person at work. That's kind of exciting... 


Since this post is completely about random crap... here is some totally random and useless trivia for you.

• If you have three quarters, four dimes and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

• The Ramses brand condom is named after the great Pharoh Ramses II, who fathered over 160 children.

• It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth. The frog then uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.

And that is all folks. I am going to sleep now. It was fun entertaining you.

I'm here...

I haven't gone off the deep end as my last post might have suggested I might have. My cable and internet was out for a few days.. turned back on this morning. Seems, you have to pay for things to stay on... interesting concept.

Anyway, I went back to the dentist this morning. It took a bit longer than expected but that is only because one of the teeth I was having extracted would not come out. Oh My God, it was like pulling teeth! Oh wait...

No seriously, it wouldn't come out. So there was drilling, pulling, poking, pushing etc. I swear a punch to the face would have felt better. Oh and all the instruments he was trying to use.. yeah, I have a small mouth and some things just don't fit, no matter how hard you try. At one point, my face was being stretched so hard I felt like The Joker but on one side of my face.

I should really write more often while on pain killers... it makes me just THAT much funnier. And I'm pretty damn funny to begin with. Also, I haven't been to sleep yet and I have been awake since 445pm yesterday so I am pretty sure I'm delirious as well.

So now, I am laying in bed watching Netflix, cruising Facebook, and eating rainbow sherbet. Awesome day.

Oh, by the way... update on that water weight thing I was trying? I didn't lose 5 lbs... but I did lose 3. Whatever, works for me.

**ALERT**CODE**RED!** (Explicitives Included)

I fucking hate being a girl sometimes (every 90 days at least). I am so ready for menopause. I am tired of being in pain. Fuck this being the bearer of life bullshit... I am so over that shit anyway. I. Want. A. Hysterectomy. And chocolate.... boat loads of fucking chocolate.

I have to work tonight. I think I will be hiding in my office and avoiding everyone otherwise I will take it out on someone.. and I will claim temporary insanity.

A Day Off...

This is so weird. I took last night off of work because my niece was coming for a visit and I wanted to actually be able to spend some time with her. So I got up a bit earlier than usual and she arrived a few hours later. Once Dan got home, we went out and sat on the porch for a few hours til dinner.. drinking and talking. We had a good time.

I decided I was going to actually sleep like a normal human last night instead of taking a nap and getting back up at 2 am. I slept like a rock. Straight through til 6 am. I never sleep straight through. So now here it is almost 930 am, pretty much everyone is awake and Dan is at work. The boys have taken over my living room with their video games and what not and I've been banished to my room. Usually at this time of the morning I am sleeping, so I have no idea what to do with myself right now. And I don't have a car so I can't really go anywhere. Oh, and Im hungry.

Chug-a-Lug.... Day 2

So here we are.. in the middle of Day 2. I am barely through my 2nd 24oz cup and feeling like I couldn't possibly drink anymore fluids. I may actually float away...

However, I did weigh myself just out of curiosity yesterday when I got up for work. I was down about a pound and a half. So, we shall see!

I had a long and rough night at work, I am not feeling terribly witty and I don't really have much else to say so I think this will be it for today's post. But who knows... I could think of something crazy here before I go to sleep and start all over again.

So, I Am Trying Something I Saw On Pintrest...

Seems to be a recurring thing here doesn't it? I like to try new things, especially things that claim you can lose 5 lbs of water weight in just 7 days, The Healthy Way! So I said, ok.. what do I have to lose? Nothing really... so here we go.

You are supposed to drink 60 ounces of this concoction everyday for a week. It consists of:

60 oz drinking water
1 tbsp sugar free cranberry juice
1 Dandelion Root tea bag
2 tbsp lemon juice

You are supposed to drink 60 oz of this concoction every day for a week. There were no real instructions to this recipe so I used some of the water from the jug to brew the tea in and then poured it back in the jug along with everything else and put it in the fridge. I made 2 days worth so I didn't have to make it everyday. I am guessing that you can still eat and drink healthfully since it didn't say you couldn't.

This is Day 1 for me.. I started last night when I went to work.So far I have peed 800 times. I'll keep you updated.

A Girly Day Out.. Sorta

As girly as it can get when you have two BOYS tagging along! It all started this morning when I was getting ready to go get my nails fixed. I was physically unable to do my hair and I snapped. I had decided that I was going to attempt to grow it back out again. My best friend is getting married (in like a year and a half!) and I decided that I wanted to be able to have 'wedding hair'. So, like I said I snapped. I called my hair dresser, who said "Can you be here in 45 minutes?" Uh. Yes, Yes I can.

I. Hacked. It. Off.

We went from this:

To this:

Then we went and got my nails done. I really needed a fill super bad and they were just getting way too long. Besides, I wanted to try this manicure that I saw on Pintrest. It came out super cute.. see?

Then it was off to Target because my 11 yr old, Braeden scored a bunch of gift cards for his birthday. He decided that he wanted to own (and read!) the entire Harry Potter book series. Target had the first 6 books for $9 and the 7th book was $15. So he bought the first 6 and we bought the 7th and also another book called The Tales of Beetle the Bard by JK Rowling as our birthday gift to him. I am so glad I have a child who would rather have books than toys!

We also had to pick up an air mattress because we will have company here almost all month! Our oldest boy, Kyle,is home from school for a few weeks, then next week our oldest niece will be visiting for a few days and then the week after that Alex has a friend coming up from California to spend time with us. 

And of course, I needed some new makeup. I kind of scored on the makeup because I forgot that e.l.f was sold at Target. I had really wanted a copper gold bronze color eyeshadow because it really makes blue eyes pop. So I ended up with this shade, Golden Goddess, and it is so pretty! My husband is going to freak out but I was just looking at all the other pigment colors they have and I think I need to have them all. The good news? They are only $3 a piece.

Also ended up with a matching liquid eyeliner, a black cream eyeliner, some lip stuff, and a new bronzer for my face. Oh and moisturizer... can't forget that! All in all.. between the gift cards and my Target card, I only spent $22 out of pocket, not bad!

I also bought some new clothes for summer... some short maxi dresses to wear around the house and to the pool and some tee shirts and tank tops I can wear to work.

By the time we got home, it was dnner and I was too tired to go skating. So instead, I dyed my hair all one color and played with my new makeup. Then I took a nap... in full hair and makeup.

So how was your day?

Breakfast Skillet Concoction Of Sorts

So I saw this posted on Pintrest and it looked pretty easy so I had to try it. Famous last words huh? Just kidding, this is so easy it would be hard to screw up... besides I think I am a pretty good cook and Dan did most of the work anyway.

The original recipe calls for 4 eggs, 2 cups of milk, 2-4 cups of shredded cheese, a pound of bacon, bulk breakfast sausage, or diced ham, and tater tots. You basically layer it and bake it in the oven for 45 min. Well, recently my son melted a handheld plastic cutting board in my oven so we haven't been able to use it for quite some time. We did attempt by heating it up this morning but the kitchen filled with smoke and it smelled all plasticy so I didn't think it was a good plan to bake food in there. Especially since the little boys had a sleep over last night and we were feeding someone else's child. So we improvised a bit. I also tweaked the recipe.I thought the egg to milk ratio didn't seem right.

My recipe:

8 eggs + 2 cups of milk beaten together
American cheese slices
tater tots
1 lb of bacon

We cooked the bacon first, then we precooked (browned slightly) a single layer of tater tots (in the leftover bacon grease because we are begging for heart attacks here) in a pretty large and deep skillet that has a lid. I don't know what type of skillet it is, I just know that it is big and deep and it has a lid. After the tots were browned a little we poured the egg mixture over them. Added the cooked bacon, crumbled up into big chunks and then topped it all off with the cheese slices. Don't know how many we used, just enough to cover  everything.

Here's what it looked like so far:

Then we covered it with the lid and reduced the heat to medium low and let cook until the egg mixture was set.. maybe 25-30 minutes? I don't know, I forgot to time it. We checked it periodically til it was done.

And this was what we got:

The kids liked it and didn't die so I guess that's a win! Seriously though, it was pretty good and we could do so much more with it like adding diced bell pepper and onion with ham instead of bacon.

Ooops...

I accidentally slept through Friday. Yes, you read that right. I got home from work at almost 7 am and should have gone straight to sleep but I didn't. I stayed up while hubby got ready for work, played Farm Ville, surfed  for ideas for my best friend's wedding, posted here, and then got caught up reading through old posts here laughing and remembering when my boys were small and cute. Then all of a sudden it was almost noon so I decided I should probably go to sleep for a bit. The boys had other plans.. you know the killing each other so Mom can't sleep kind of plans?

Yeah. So I finally fell asleep, I woke up briefly to the sound of Dan asking me something about Taco Bell and went back to sleep. I woke up about an hour ago at 2 am.So here I sit, propped up in bed with my laptop, watching 24 on Netflix and cruising facebook.

I am totally excited for tonight though. My two older boys and I have plans to go roller skating. I am totally stoked that they are willing to be seen with me in public lol. I am not like other moms though. I don't look my age or act it for that matter... but I still am pretty strict on them but we seem to have a pretty good relationship/friendship. They know where the boundaries lie... mostly. But they are still kids, they test them from time to time.

Ok, so that's all I've got for right now... have a good weekend y'all and I'll check in later.

Coming Out Of Hiding

Wow. It's been a long time since I've been here. I have recently gotten the urge to start writing again. I am going to try my best to write something every morning after work if I can... at the very least, once a week. Baby steps, people.

For a brief moment I entertained the idea of creating a new blog dedicated to all the shoes I love as well as the ones I own, however that was way too much work. All the custom designing and whatnot.. why not just use an existing blog and post about all the other random crap that goes on in my life as well?!

A lot has changed since my last post... what, two years ago?!? I will give you all the condensed version :)

We moved from sunny California to the Tacoma area of Washington. It's cold and it rains a lot. This week summer is gracing us with her presence and *gasp* this weekend it's supposed to get up to 80 degrees! I am  still working for the same company, we came up here because hubby was offered a promotion to Inventory Control Manager, which required a transfer. I was hired on in the same position (Shipping Clerk) I was in back in California. I have to say, I actually like my job a lot more now than I ever did at the other facility. Only difference is that here I am working 3rd shift. I don't really mind it so much because it is really relaxed but the hours are brutal.

The kids are doing great. Kyle will be 18 at the end of this month. Alex is 16 and will be starting his Junior year of High School. Braeden just turned 11 this week and is going to be starting middle school in the fall. Liam is 9 and entering 4th grade and Greyson is 8 and entering 3rd grade.

Another thing going on with us... after a very long struggle (a couple of years of exhausting symptoms), Greyson was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. We have started him on a mood stabilizer to try to get his tantrums and mood swings under control. So far we are seeing a HUGE improvement. He has had very minimal tantrums and has been so much happier. The real test will be when he goes back to school.

Tattoos.... last time I was here I only had 5. Now I have 10. I finally got my (half) sleeve done, after 2 years of figuring out what I wanted. I ended up deciding to honor my home state with the state bird (quail) and state flower (California Poppies). Here's a picture for you....

This was done over 3 sessions by the most amazing tattoo artists I've ever met, Cindy Maxwell. Not only is she a fabulously talented artist, she is a really cool person to sit and talk to. Even if I am paying her an arm and a leg to hang out! We always have a blast during our appointments.

I could probably go on and on for quite some time but I am exhausted from work last night. I got about 3 hours of sleep yesterday before going in and have been awake for almost 24 hours. I will post more later since I will be awake all night long.

To Be Continued....